Furfag
This article contains a lot of hate. You can help The Paradoxical Parable Wiki by not giving a shit waiting for further rewriting. =Summary= These are the most pitiful creatures on the internet. Their gross, pulsating bodies are much harder on the eyes than that of a noob, the second ugliest creature of the internet. They make suits of varying degrees of quality (merely subpar to absolutely shitty) to hide their grotesque form. Like noobs they possess a mechanism for converting more into their numbers, but it is particularly twisted and perverse, corrupting the individual more drastically and therefore lowering the chance for curing. This varies from subclass to subclass, along with fursuit quality. =History= Originally the furries were a peaceful and whimsical race. They didn't go around complaining about being "fursecuted" or any of the untoward things that modern furries do. But something happened, and the furries began to polarize into two camps; The furfags the internet loves to hate, the noncombatants that weren't faggots "loose" but didn't want any part in the drama, and the Burned Furs, a group of (actually sorta kinda homophobic) prudes that wanted to preserve the public image of furries. Tensions sparked a fiery war, a war in which decency lost. The victors accepted everyone they could into their fold with open legs arms, and the noncombatants and the few surviving Burned Furs fled or tried their best to find their place elsewhere. The rest of the internet was sick and tired of all the drama and issued a blanket declaration, defining ALL furries as a menace. After another terrible incident (that may or may not be discussed at a future date), the furfags were mutated into the grotesque forms you see today. If you're looking for the losers, here's the article. =Sub-classes= Otherkin One way or another, these poor sods have lost their fursuit. Be it from combat, disrepair, or simply abandoning it, these pathetic creatures are naked and vulnerable to the world. Some otherkin actively search for materials to make a fresh fursuit, others actually prefer having the punishing rays and harsh winds of the internet pounding away at their flesh. Whilst in the throes of otherkin they cannot rely on the limited protection of their fursuit and must instead rely upon their feeble "imagination", usually with no success. This is the only subclass that can be "cured" into newbiedom or (rarely) even userdom, though the chances for either are not good. Costume Furry These are the most common furries. They don their animal-themed suits through rain, mud, and the numerous furry orgies. The fursuit actually provides some measure of protection from these hazards, though they are less effective at turning away attacks. Many come equipped with "natural weapons", which usually means shoddily constructed claws or horns. The main danger of this crusty aberration comes from the furry virus that converts the more suggestible to join their depraved mob, and festers from fairly shallow wounds inflicted on more resilient classes. Plush Furry These furries had leftover material from suit construction and decided to make plushies with what was left. Plushies with... love holes. And, after extended... use, they gain a life of their own, a life of suffering and disease. Unable to defy their master's orders, they follow them into battle, increasing the enemies' risk of furfag infection by leaps and bounds, and distracting them with surplus targets. The furries can also toss their toxic charges at an enemy, which will end the plushie's suffering in an explosion of furfaggotry and AIDS. And worst of all, other furries can "share" these plushies, furthering their potency and restoring the other furries' diseases. When the master dies, the associated plushies fall down and burn down to nothing. Partially Fused Furry These furries have been in their suits for so long that it has started to bond with the greasy, blistered sheet they call skin. The hazardous chemicals often used in the fursuit's creation begin to flow in the bags of blood they call arteries, jumpstarting a strange metamorphosis where the asymmetrical bones in their bodies begin to reshape, reform, twist into place. This boosts their formerly pathetic physical abilities to simply mediocre. Tearing away sections of the fursuit is highly recommended, as it causes significantly more pain then anything else in their already painful existence. Anthro Furry The fusion to their fursuit is completed, further bolstering their physical and sensing capabilities. The reek of their furfaggotry is also reduced, but they are just as disgusting on the inside. The fursuit has replaced their skin altogether. This bolsters its quality by a significant amount, and as a result, the less observant may mistake them for Fur-covered users. Trolls will kill either on sight, of course. Not to be confused with their User counterpart, where the individual in question "grows out" fur but retains their overall body plan and weren't involved in the terrible accident that befell the furry race normal, unmutated Furries Macro Furry During the furries' group activities, things can get so heated that they end up fusing with each other. Once this process begins, it continues until it reaches critical mass, which starts the reformation process. Bones fuse, flesh reorganizes, fur surfaces, and it takes the form of a massive Anthro Furry. These profane abominations are the peak of furfaggotry and AIDS, although on the rare occasion they form, there is an equally rare occasion where their minds are completely destroyed and an innocent, childlike mind forms, though in the end it's probably the same result anyway. Their massive size lets them crush smaller beings, provided they could catch them with their large, easy to read movements. Their ponderous form is also vulnerable to the most persistant of foes: Physics. Their bodies do not cool off well, and their muscle strains to lift the weight. On sites where they develop, this is usually not as big a problem, but it makes things difficult when entering high gravity or high heat websites. Their melee prowess is not the worst problem. They are also capable of swallowing smaller creatures whole, condemning them to hours of anguish in their stomachs. The last thing they see after entering the first row of teeth is the wall of mouths behind those teeth, surrounding a dark abyss... They won't try it on armed or powerful opponents, though. Should you be unfortunate enough to face one in combat, it is suggested that you run. Unless you have a method of fighting large creatures, the risk is too great. You will quite literally be fucked if you stick around. Category:Classes Category:Internet Fauna Category:Enemies Category:Ohgodwhat